iHandsome `06

Friday, January 19, 2007

~~We are iHandsome` 06~~

This is your reporter, coming from "David was secretly right all along about Chun" studio. Joining me, Karl on the exciting headlines we have today, Kevin, who frowns upon my stand of how much forehead was expected to be shown to Jeffrey Lim.

Karl: You've seen Chun's blog posts. It was spectacular. Spectacularly bland compared to The Revolutionists' prophetic abilities. This series of predictions have been made in a board meeting of the "We Know Chun is Emo Pte Ltd" company which has been, until now, lurking in the dark, making sinister predictions regarding the downfall of the crossbreed of the Emo and Poser purebreds. The amount of information available to us in the legal way has restricted our knowledge to the CEO of the company, David Phoon Zi Yang. It is most disturbing to find his criminal records blank out there. This translates into the detrimental effects his birthday suit has on human life-forms which now, couldnt be more of a joke. The "human life-forms" now dont even resemble an animal species known to man. We have mourned at least 24 hours for the suffering under Phoon's nudity.

Kevin: Yes Karl, this is most disturbing indeed. Where is this scheming mastermind hiding?! He can't possibly be hiding in a classroom called 3K could he?

Karl: Haha, good joke! Who knows? He might actually be from Hwa Chong Institution and has "secret" desires to go to 3I!

Kevin: Who ever heard of a mastermind hiding in a classroom? Haha.

Karl: This just in! Breaking news from the underground frontlines! We now switch to a recording of a board meeting from We Know Chun is Emo Pte Ltd!

the limit's delimitation. a shard of half-hearted dream says:
"Kevin and Chun Pte Ltd, just renamed itself to 'Chun is Gay Pte Ltd'. What?! This is most unbelievable! Bill Gates just offered 50 billion for the takeover of the company just because he loved the name!"

~ Kevin and Chun Pte Ltd. Need help with relationship/marriage counselling? We're right here. says:
HAHA
~ Kevin and Chun Pte Ltd. Need help with relationship/marriage counselling? We're right here. says:
" However, the owners have declined the takeover because the business is skyrocketing because of the name change. Stock analysts say that at this rate, the Chun is Gay Pte Ltd stock will hit an all time high in no time!!!!"

the limit's delimitation. a shard of half-hearted dream says:
"Their new slogan 'Need help with David relationships counselling? Dont call us! =)' has received overwhelming support from the masses"

~ Kevin and Chun Pte Ltd. Need help with relationship/marriage counselling? We're right here. says:
"This is pushing David the Psychiatrist inexorably out of business."

the limit's delimitation. a shard of half-hearted dream says:
"Desperate measures have been taken by Michael Jackson's lawyer in an attempt to sue Chun is Gay Pte Ltd for koping his 'handsome name and reputation'. Will this mark the end of the world's richest teenage gay?"

~ Kevin and Chun Pte Ltd. Need help with relationship/marriage counselling? We're right here. says:
"A SURPRISE TURNOVER!!! Michael Jackson has been bankrupted! "

the limit's delimitation. a shard of half-hearted dream says:
"OMGWTFBBQ!~ I was just about to pimp my little boy to Michael Jackson! I ca-, i mean, this is most unexpected! The shares of Gates' Microsoft dropped another 50cents! The new 4D number to get rich quick is 00.50!"

~ Kevin and Chun Pte Ltd. Need help with relationship/marriage counselling? We're right here. says:
" Chun is Gay Pte Ltd is 0wning! "

the limit's delimitation. a shard of half-hearted dream says:
"Prophets all over the world are pooling resources in a bid to takeover what has been considered the windiest and wettest feng shui-ful company of the century!"

Karl : This is a recording of their cult group in session. We can see from this footage that a suspicious movement is coming from the left side of the screen where a man with an incredibly awful voice is moaning loudly and banging another person bent over on the floor while they make predictions of the future of Chun Kai. This relatively unknown has stirred up some trouble with the authorities in the past, crossing the borders of society's tolerance of public homosexual displays of affection. He has recently showcased his skills in dancing by copying his partner's weird "worm" dance, and looked oh-so-deep into his partner's eyes and say "I cried again today in Bio class. Please spruce up my day for me". This release of such an audacious statement against social etiquette has called for a UN meeting to decide the fate of this troublesome teenager.

Kevin: That's all for this week. Join us again at 8pm everynight, only on ESPN. Where the Especially Super Pro Network functions to bring you the latest updates all around the world.

karl;
iHandsome on 8:59 PM;