iHandsome `06

Sunday, October 29, 2006

~~We are iHandsome` 06~~

Hey, im the first to post something other than hellos. Its all right there's no need to roll out the red carpet.

Well, these two years have been really hard on everyone in 2i (with the exception of a few nubs who decided that studying was above their comprehension skills and learning abilities, and thus have resorted to the theory of existen-bingkun-lism). YOU! may wonder why these years have been so difficult. Well, frankly, i do too. I have no idea why the general handsomeness to lame-crap-about-handsomeness ratio is so high. Maybe its because we are deluded by the fact that a ghanaian, all-rounder, lame-guy-who-thinks-his-hair-sucks, rich froob who niaos ppl all day long, all agree that they are handsome, thus the general consensus among us is that 2i is indeed a competitive class, fighting for the title of handsomest. But i beg to differ, when its so obvious who's the handsomest of them all! You dont need a ghanaian albino palomino to tell you that. The very thought of his name scares me silly, his very presence makes me cower in fear, his name strikes nothing less than that dumbfounded look whenever he tries to answer kala's rhetorical questions. His name is none other than Guo Bing Kun. DONT WET YOUR PANTS! ITS OK! HIS STUPIDITY WONT INFECT YOU AND TURN YOU SILLY, NOR DO YOU NEED TO DODGE HIS DUMB AURA! He. Is. Leaving. Us. For. Good. Most of us anyway.

Therefore, I conclude that he shall raise the standards of handsomeness in whatever class he may be kicked to. Because of his aura that turns people stupid, and BELIEVE that he is indeed the handsomest of them all.

Ok, back to the main story. These two years have been taxing on me (for i know nothing about the carefree lives some people have turned to while searching for stupidity enlightenment). These years have been hard because: 1. omg LOOK AT THAT CHIO BU! damn, i cant ask for her number. STUDIES! FOCUS! 2. WOW I JUST FLUNKED A TEST, now i have to slack! That's damned hard, my mum is right behind me! 3. LOOK AT THE TIME! I slacked so much i forgot to turn on the computer to slack even more! Depression. Therefore, i have turned to the "best" psychiatrist on earth. David Phoon Zi Yang.

David: I hear that you have been meeting a few... obstacles, shall we say, in your quest to attain slackability enlightenment.
Me: Yeah, its really hard to follow the walking path home, when i have like $5+ in my wallet just flagging those cabs.
David: Oh I see... This problem can be addressed easily. Hm... lets see... Oh I thought of a great idea! You wont have to take a cab home, when i decide that i'm not gay enough to take 3 BL00DY STOPS AND LEAVE YOU ON THE BUS!
Me: That sounds like a good idea.
David: Well, OBVIOUS! I'm the handsomest, smartest, sexiest, 1337-est, and perfect guy in the whole world! I cant possibly be wrong!
Me: Whatever you say... As long as i have earmuffs on the bus =)
David: There! That clears up a lot of problems! I hope you're feeling better now!

*chio bu walks past*

Me: *eyes follow chio bu* Yeah, yeah, I'm feeling great! Bye! I just realised I have an appointment with a female friend, sorry i have to go now. I treat girls 4x better than guys, dont worry, its not you. You can gay Chun Kai instead =)

I'm sure all of you reading this are very curious about my love life. I feel obliged to tell a bit more. The euphoria of not seeing Guo Bing Kun everyday must be egging me on. Well, its more like a sad Korean drama. Except more cliched, and heart-wrenching. Here goes.

I like girl. I tell girl. Girl no like me (I have uber-high standards =)). Girl say friends. I no choice. I say ok. I zibei a bit. Then I happy. I feel 1337. I hear she like some other guy. I didnt know. I zibei again. I think about suicide. I think about suicide pain. I humji pain. I decide not to suicide. I feel happy again. I slack. Go back normal life.

And that, is basically my love life (some parts were edited because young kids like you should not face mortal fear and flood your house with tears). I wish i could tell you all more, but..., fine. I shall say more.

Thenwetalkasfriendsandthensomethinghappenedandshesavedmyasssoidecidetorepayherbygivingherflowersonherbirthday.

There! That's as far as the euphoria takes my common sense. I hope this post creates a flurry of tags because spammers should not be allowed to blog, and tagboards are more fun to spam =) Stay handsome(if you already are, or are deluded by the dumb aura).

Peace in! Piss out!
Karl

karl;
iHandsome on 10:06 PM;